i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
