Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Every concussion has its silver lining
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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