it's like iHOP with fire
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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