A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
