Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
my liver is dry heaving
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
