He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
