i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
