I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
vagina is talking i cant
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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