I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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