shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
