Porn is love you can see.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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