There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
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Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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