I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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