K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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