Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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