I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
