I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize