This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it's like iHOP with fire
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
