yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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