Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
