I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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