Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
