There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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