come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
two words: eviction party
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
