I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
