She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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