She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
