You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
