Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
