when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
