ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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