someone get that fucking seahorse.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
