discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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