I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
