Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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