Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
