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it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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