Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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