5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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