You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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