I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
