I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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