There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
