I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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