hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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