Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So here I am, sexting at work.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
