we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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