that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
