Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize