make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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