I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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