Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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