Christians are straight up FREAKS
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
