her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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