I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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