i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize