If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
